Net neutrality has been thrown down the toilet, metaphorically speaking, by our in-the-know source, codenamed Bernard.

Tim Skinner

September 7, 2016

2 Min Read
Net neutrality is just like bog roll - source

Net neutrality has been thrown down the toilet, metaphorically speaking, by our in-the-know source, codenamed Bernard.

Our source has plied his trade in the trenches of the networking biz for 13 years with telecoms companies, banks, government ministries, airports, law firms and all that jazz, so we trust him. Bernard reckons the net neutrality debate has been properly overblown to the extent that network admins can’t twitch without a regulatory bod having palpitations and sweating profusely.

Net neutrality has its place, probably, but last week we wrote about Virgin Media’s gamer-friendly network bundle. In our ensuing podcast it was mentioned again, to which our brother-from-another-mother Ray Le Maistre of Light Reading shouted “net neutrality alert!”.

After listening to the podcast, from which his codename was derived, Bernard got in touch to share his rather candid views, and it was magnificent.

“Alright, Bernard here,” he began. “I got bored so I started looking up the gaming packages we spoke about last week. Looks like EE has been doing it, along with VoIP, at peak times for a year or two.

“In my opinion, net neutrality can f*ck off here. If links can’t handle real-time traffic quickly, and still provide a decent service to non-real time traffic the providers need to upgrade their links. Net neutrality should really only be an issue among competitors of a type of service – like Netflix vs Amazon or Skype vs FaceTime or Whatsapp vs Viber.

“So long as ISPs aren’t prioritising Ubisoft games over Blizzard or a new gaming startup, net neutrality supporters can shut their commie mouths.

“It’s like a line at a supermarket. If I’m standing with a trolley (of web traffic, say), then I’ve got no problem with the guy running full tilt at the checkout with one solitary pack of bog roll going first. He’s clearly got bigger problems. But if you and I are both running to the checkout with bog roll and nothing else, then you’re let in front of me because you’ve got Andrex but I’ve got Charmin, then that’s not fair on me or on Charmin.”

Expertly done Bernard, see you soon.

About the Author(s)

Tim Skinner

Tim is the features editor at, focusing on the latest activity within the telecoms and technology industries – delivering dry and irreverent yet informative news and analysis features.

Tim is also host of weekly podcast A Week In Wireless, where the editorial team from and their industry mates get together every now and then and have a giggle about what’s going on in the industry.

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